Category: Just a Thought

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I was, like, only 100 feet away from Obama and Merkel last night, and I’m now enlightened

President Barack Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel sit on a stage at the Anthem in Washington, D.C., discussing Merkel's new book, German and American history, and current events.

I got to see President Barack Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel in conversation last night in DC, and I want to share some thoughts I took away.

Be generous with your curiosity.

Obama and Merkel discussed at length the parallels between Germany’s divisions (literally, in the case of the Berlin Wall, which Merkel grew up on the eastern side of) and America’s. We’re in a time of great division across many lines, but in Merkel’s experience where her country was cleaved in two and then put back together, she found earnest curiosity for the experiences of people who have lived very different lives is the key to understanding and unity. Obama iterated on that idea with regard to the United States where we’re divided across race, class, religion, region, urban vs. rural, and so much more. They both agreed curiosity is the first ingredient in unity, and while it’s very difficult in the face of indifference and hostility, and especially so when it isn’t reciprocated, it’s necessary for good faith public discourse.

Freedom is a responsibility.

This one was more Merkel, but while the sentiment might feel familiar to us, I think it’s somewhat more complex. Merkel said people in democracies tend to interpret their freedom as the ability to do whatever they want, but she said, having lived in a dictatorship and then having effectively led the free world (my words, not hers, but she did), her perspective of freedom is a bit different than ours. She actually said living in a dictatorship wasn’t all that bad. She had a happy childhood, and she and her family had a decent life. However, with the state providing so much to and demanding so much from her, she noticed a void when that authority was gone. Freedom, to her, is the responsibility to build a decent society in the absence of an authoritarian state doing it for you. Freedom, she said, is a responsibility because, if you don’t tend to and nurture it, if you don’t help keep your society thriving, people will lose faith in it, and when people lose faith in their society, that’s when they invite dictators and authoritarians to come and relieve them of the responsibility of fixing their own problems using the systems and resources they have available to them.

The antidote for despair is action.

This one is classic Obama, but Merkel was on board in her own way. Obama said, when he was in office, he would tell his staff, “better is good.” He hinted at the nirvana fallacy in which people tend to despair and reject a solution if it isn’t perfect. Merkel added that, sometimes, when you want to solve a problem, it can be discouraging to find the answer is more difficult and less effective than you expected. They both suggested that, even if we can push toward an ideal solution slightly, improvements are good work. Sometimes, they said, a massive challenge with dire implications, such as climate change—which is stressing global economies and pushing migrants and asylum seekers away from the equator around the world, making it more difficult for people to enjoy the freedoms they may take for granted, and is only getting worse and tempting an invitation for an authoritarian or dictator to solve those problems—can all seem desperate but, with action, maybe we can make something better, and better is good.

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I’m Reprioritizing My Social Media (and You Should, Too)

I was there at the beginning of social media. I started my Facebook account almost 20 years ago, and I had a MySpace account before that. (I didn’t do Friendster, though, so maybe I’m not *that* legit.)

Social media was quite stupid at the start as everyone was trying to figure out what we were going to use it for. The inherent misogyny of Facebook’s foundation aside, it also was mostly harmless. When Zuckerberg let go and just let us decide what Facebook was going to be, we started to figure it out for ourselves.

The problem is a common denominator in all of this is, while people want control (and, I still believe, deserve it), they kind of suck when you give it to them, and they invariably ruin good things. It takes one bad collective decision to flush something good down the drain.

A decade or so after social media took off, things got real. Suddenly, we were all having important conversations about the world. Social media, we started to realize, was harmful because so many of us just still didn’t know how to use it, how to discern bull shit (because they never really learned those media literacy skills), or perhaps more crucially how to be a decent human being to another human being when we couldn’t look that person in the face.

Empathy was a key evolutionary trait we’d evolved to use as a vital interpersonal tool. Empathy keeps tribes together when they ought to split. Empathy makes people instinctually help others even when there is no immediate benefit to the individual, and in so doing, everyone benefits in the long run.

Empathy helps us overcome our worst impulses. And empathy, it turns out, isn’t something we’re very good at exercising in the abstract.

Back when social media became the place where we were having much of our public debate, I resolved to keep the lines of communication open because I thought, to some extent, having these important conversations with people could do some good. After all, it was something I was good at, and it was using a means of communications I was good with. Maybe people would listen to me, a reasonable, understanding, and respectful person who was both skeptical and diligent with his research and fact-finding. Maybe I could help cut through some of the bull shit. Maybe I could make a difference.

The thing I failed to understand now seems obvious: even though I have these skills because I’ve devoted my life to them, most other people don’t, and the trouble was it became incredibly draining to carry that burden of feeling like any time I opened a social media app I would find another record to correct, another bad take to address, another piece of misinformation to right, or more awful behavior from someone who had no capacity to responsibly communicate via text and didn’t really have an interest in personal growth.

All of this was constantly waiting for me on a device I carried in my pocket.

I’ve been battling some deep depression this year, and I may go into that another time. I realized months ago, this burden I was carrying had been hurting me for a very long time, so I removed myself from all social media. As a writer in these times, social media is a necessity, and that’s unfortunate since it’s so incredibly toxic (because the people who use it are so incredibly toxic).

Since this presidential election, I’ve been dealing with a lot, but some of what I’ve been dealing with is that none of it meant anything. I carried that burden for years, and none of it mattered. I changed nothing.

All these years on, I think social media is still quite stupid, and I’m still trying to figure out what it is supposed to be used for. I’ve been thinking about why I came to Facebook in the first place. I felt a need for community and support. I needed social media as a person who takes nourishment from relationships, but I also needed it as a writer whose very existence happens only with the support of others.

After a big change, I have to take a lot of time to adjust and figure out a path forward, so after this election, I committed to not making any decisions for a while; however, one decision I will allow myself to make is to reprioritize my social media experience so that it provides me with the community and support I need. What this means is I’m going to remove from my networks the people (regardless of who they are) that I allowed to collectively drain me for years. To be frank, if what I need is community, those people apparently don’t care to be in my community, and if what I need is support, those people were never going to share in that support anyway.

I’m not one for fanfare. Typically, I would just do this instead of making a big stink about it. However, I think it’s important at this point to say something to those of you who are in my community and have supported me. If you’re like me and you kept people who hurt or drained you in your social networks because of some misplaced hope that, by maintaining those connections, you could help them grow as people and ultimately benefit us all in the end, I think you can let that go now. Make your social networks places of community and support (or whatever you need) because, I think, that’s one thing that will not only help us survive in the short term, but also I now believe focusing on fortifying those in our communities and supporting the vulnerable among us who need that support is the way to collectively grow our strength so that, in the venues where we might actually be able to make a difference, we will be more prepared to do so instead of disheartened and drained by a constant weight of ignorance, disregard, and malfeasance, a fight that never changed anything and never was going to, at least not in places like this.

All this time, I think some of us have been fighting the tribalism that social media (and those who manipulate it) want to create, and I think that fight is over.

The last decade has been exhausting, and unfortunately, it’s going to continue for the foreseeable future. It probably will endure for the rest of our lives. In the story of America, this election was probably the final chapter before a time jump during which a whole lot of darkness happens.

But, I don’t think it was the final act in the story of America. There are still chapters to write. We’ll need you all for that, so take care of yourselves because it’s only after you care for yourself that you can care for others. 

If you’re reading this, much love to you.

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Not OK, Computer

Image by Marvel Studios and potentially every artist on the planet; it’s impossible to know for sure. Also, none of them were paid or even acknowledged for their work.

Artistry is one of humanity’s defining traits. Our creative ingenuity makes us special.

So I find it strange that, with the emergence of AI, we’re not using it to make our lives better but to automate creativity.

I won’t be watching Secret Invasion. If you haven’t heard, Disney—the most powerful and profitable entertainment studio the world has ever known—opted to exploit AI, plagiarize real artists, and save a few bucks to generate the show’s opening credits sequence. They claim the method fits the show’s themes.

It’s a story about spies fighting shapeshifting aliens.

It’s a shame because many real artists did work on the series, and I’m sure it’s great. My hope is Disney, Marvel, Method Studios, and the show’s producers change course, hire actual artists to create a new opening credits sequence, and commit to never using AI-generated creative content again.

Let’s leverage AI to do the work nobody wants to do, and let’s empower people to do the work they actually want to do, especially if that work explores human creativity in any form.

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On Knowledge and Understanding

I’ve been noodling an idea I’m not sure what to do with. It basically goes like this: Our culture encourages competition under the premise that it breeds progress, but what if it generates only a certain kind of progress and hinders others? Namely, knowledge and understanding.

Just as capitalism inspires businesses to make the better product and come out on top, we butt heads on the individual level. Turn on any talk show and listen to competing sides debate a particular issue. Their goal isn’t to foster understanding; their goal is to win.

I can’t recall ever seeing anyone on TV or any stage in front of an audience yield when proven wrong. It’s so obvious we have an Internet meme for it. I’m sure there’s a subreddit dedicated to sharing videos of people being proven wrong and not admitting it. Watch this recent Jon Stewart interview if you need to see what I mean. Stewart is a bit too aggressive at first, but after a few minutes, you come to understand he’s frustrated because he’s so obviously right, but the other guy just won’t budge even though you can see it in him: he knows he’s been proven wrong, and instead of choosing to grow as a person (something that might let some others who follow him grow as people), he turtles. 

The trouble is knowledge and understanding just don’t work under these conditions. They need open, earnest idea and experience sharing. They require generosity, fairness, and good faith. They require concession and admission when you’re wrong. This is how we grow as people. This is how we learn.

Even when teaching debate, I would bet all the moneys the goal is winning, to overcome the other side by formulating the more compelling argument. That’s great for the individual and the winning side’s interest, but it is terrible for the whole. Whoever wins, we lose.

Granted, I do think there is value in striving for the better argument. In so doing, you come to better understand your own ideas, and that’s great.

That said, you should never enter a debate with the goal of proving you’re right. Enter with the goal of earnestly sharing your ideas and experiences because they’re valid, and in so doing, the group objective should be to combine those ideas and find something greater. To learn something together.

I think it would be a mistake to conflate this with compromise. That’s different. I’m also not suggesting there is no such thing as right and wrong. Of course there is. But what I’m talking about here is truth. 

I’ve also been noodling the idea that, since each of our individual understandings of reality is subjective and flawed, taken through limited perception, no individual can understand reality alone. Each of our realities isn’t real. To find the real, we need each other.

What a world it would be if we weren’t always trying to beat each other into submission but, instead, working together to discover the thing that is true about our shared reality, something none of us can really fathom on our own.

Discuss on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or Mastodon.

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Achievement Unlocked: Mastery of the Craft

After three years, I am a master of the fine art of creative writing. According to George Mason University, anyway. Anyone can proclaim to be a writer, sure, but self-proclaimed masters are usually full of it. I proclaim nothing myself.

Anyway, as I take stock, reflect, and prepare for the transition into a new phase of my life, I thought I’d take a minute to update the blog a little. Three years ago, I essentially vanished to go find more time to write and otherwise grow as a writer. Today, I look back on those three years and realize I found a mixture of things I expected and things I didn’t. I went into the program with the goal of coming out with a finished novel. That didn’t happen. I have a decent start on one, but progress has been slow on that front. I also had the goal of coming out of the program with enough short stories for a collection. That didn’t happen either. I have several I’m extremely proud of, two of which were published last summer. However, the last three years of my writing life have been about quality over quantity.

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Demagogues

I’ve been thinking and reading about demagogues a lot this summer. Demagogues are political leaders who appeal through pathos rather than logos. For the non-Greek, feelings rather than logic. Most commonly, demagogues manipulate our fear and anger, and they generally direct those emotions at an other or a “them.” Demagogues require opponents as scapegoats. They require division.

We’ve seen their kind many times throughout history, yet I’m optimistic about them. For every one that has risen to power, I like to think many failed to gain any traction. Recognizing them is simple, something I expect any American should be able to do instinctually, yet if you find yourself caught by their influence, it may all seem a bit vexing and complicated. That’s because some of what they’re saying, on some level, makes sense and is, on some level, true. They require reality distorted.

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On ‘Salute to America’ and Questionable-at-Best Leadership

Despite his country continuing to face a historic pandemic and unaddressed racial tensions, Trump is proceeding with his “Salute to America” celebration tomorrow, and that tracks, considering the kind of questionable leadership he has exhibited not only throughout these crises but also throughout his term.

While I’m seeing talk about how much the event is costing us and the wisdom of holding such an event right now, I’m wondering why more people aren’t more outraged about the principle that he’s once again co-opted our most sacrosanct holiday for personal and political gain. Independence Day used to be a day of unity for all of us to set aside our differences and come together to celebrate the best ideals of America, but Trump has turned it into a divisive campaign rally to highlight the worst of America at our expense. Regardless of politics, this should set off even the most adamantly self-proclaimed patriots among us.

It’s not right, and it’s just one more of the countless reasons you shouldn’t vote for him in November. Of course, it is far less compelling of a reason than the thousands of Americans who have died from Covid-19 due to his poor leadership; his woefully inadequate response to the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and the far too many others, and the social movements clamoring for change; and the countless other indicators of his ineptitude and harm; but I digress.

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Healthcare in America

Tonight, I went to the ER because I thought I was dying (I wasn’t, and I’m following doctors’ recommendations; I’ll probably be fine). For anyone who has been to a doctor in America, I don’t have to tell you this was a miserable experience. However, maybe you’re super healthy or have just forgotten how bad healthcare in America is (or maybe you’re one of the about 60 million Americans who can’t really afford access to healthcare). In any case, I feel it’s important we all consider the state of healthcare in America this year because we have a really important vote coming up in November.

I felt inspired to write something about this because it’s something I care about. I felt compelled because I’m a writer and that’s what I do. I care because the flaws in the U.S. healthcare system have harmed me and my family, because we call ourselves the greatest country in the world and can shoot a rocket down a brown person’s throat from halfway around the world using a remote-controlled airplane, but we can’t provide adequate healthcare for our own people.

Coincidentally, John Oliver’s first feature story of the new season, which aired last night, does a good job covering some of our healthcare system’s failures and the potential for a medicare-for-all system. And it’s funny. And you can watch it instead of reading it. You don’t like John Oliver? I’m sorry. Maybe it’s his accent, or maybe it’s his personality, or maybe it’s because he’s often right and persuasive and nobody likes to be proven wrong. My advice is to get over that because, if you can’t accept being proven wrong, you’ll never learn anything or grow as a person. Like our president. Maybe you aspire to that. Maybe there’s something else entirely we need to talk about.

Anyway. Personally, I’m skeptical of medicare for all because it would be a big change, and there are a lot of uncertainties, and that’s scary. But I think one of our primary goals as a society should be to reduce and minimize suffering wherever and whenever possible, and there’s a lot that just doesn’t make sense in our current healthcare system, which necessarily has to balance profits with the wellbeing of people, and no matter how you try to make sense of that, it is and always has been cruel.

Maybe there’s some bitterness in the above. That’s probably because I am bitter. There are many reasons for that, but for tonight, I’ll stick with this one. Maybe I’ll talk about more later. Yay, 2020.

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One Sentence About This State of Emergency

After two years of holding partisan control of the federal government during which border security was not an emergency, a president the American people don’t want is declaring a state of emergency that doesn’t exist to build a wasteful and ineffective wall the American people don’t want, by taking money from the military’s tax-funded budget, not Mexico as he promised, and to satisfy prejudices and assuage fears he helped create with lies and demagoguery, thus sidestepping democracy and invoking autocracy in the country that used to be the leader of the free world where self-proclaimed patriots and champions of liberty used to criticize a black president for using the power of executive order and now are celebrating victory for getting nothing their country wants or needs, because one failed businessman turned celebrity exploits the popular scorn of modern American politics to convince them he knows best and reinforces that belief with propaganda, confirmation bias, and the cognitive dissonance of a generation that stripped future generations of their prosperity and is losing its grasp on the modern world.

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On Telling Students ‘No’

Nick Mamatas went on a Tweet storm yesterday about creative writing teachers barring students from writing genre fiction. It sparked conversation in the various Internets where writers dwell. I had thoughts.

I think Nick took it too far. Were we close, I’d ask him who hurt him, but alas, we’re not. I do think Nick was onto something, though.

(I should preface the rest of this with the disclaimer that I am not a fiction teacher, nor have I ever had the opportunity of teaching fiction writing, and nor is this a criticism of any creative writing teacher in particular. It’s a hard and thankless job, and it takes a special person to legitimately be excited to help others grow and succeed.)

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